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Crash Course In RP (Made By Celox)

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Crash Course In RP (Made By Celox)

Post by Renzenku on Wed Jun 02, 2010 7:55 pm

This is not a Rule, more of a teaching post. It is as the title says, a Crash Course in RP. It is not made by me, it is made by someone on a different RP site; but I feel it will be just as useful here.

Introductory Posts.

1. Describe surroundings. This is so everyone else in the topic gets a good feel for the area and so you can refer back to keep consistency this also saves people having to research the area or at least recognize the part your talking about just remember to keep it from your character POV

2. Explain why your there. Theres nothing more annoying then people who are just in places for the sake of being there. So make up a reason for it even if its a tad ludicrous its better then nothing. It also gives people an idea of how you plan for the topic to go.

3. Your thoughts on the current place. Potentially you can put your description of the place here and then just your characters opinion of it but it doesn't have to be blatant either subtlety is good and as you get past the first hurdle of RP'ing you can develop your skills further i'll go into this at a later date.

4. Appearance. Describe your character this makes Rp for others easier as they then can refer to your post in order to describe you and if their good enough they'll reword your description so it's not just copy and paste. By providing others with the information to improve their own RP your topic will look better and more people will want to join.

5. Do something. Though speech is not necessary unless an NPC character is involved or your talking to yourself you can still run, jump or whatever. None of you seem to have a problem with this aspect merely the detail in which you describe your movements, remember the thesauruses are your best friend so use them and then dictionary to check the word you've found means what you want are. Whenever i'm stuck i always find the thesaurus and search for a good fitting word. A large vocabulary shows intelligence, we like intelligence.

6. Weather and time. Again there’s nothing more annoying then not knowing what time of day it is or the weather when you enter a topic. Is it sunny, is it dark? Is the sun beating down on your character bringing sweat to their brow or is the wind chilling the bone marrow itself evoking shivers from your characters body. Again there is more subtlety then " It was windy today". Remember description and setting make a RP people will appreciate you setting it out even if they don't voice it it can make their turn easier.

7. Grammar, punctuation and spelling It doesn't need to be absolutely perfect grammar wise but if you have firefox its worth using the spell check feature. Capital letters look pretty at the beginning of sentences and full stops tell us where to breathe, commas make sense of a sentence but apart from that anything else is ok.


The intro should be one of the longest posts in the topic, if all of the above are included it will lengthen your post substantially and the mods will like you more so your creations will be approved quicker generally.

I'm going to use these 3 as examples and i really don't care if they are yours and you get offended. Take it as constructive criticism.

Typical bad one
Quote:
*** arrived from the train and exists the train station "so this is Twinlight Town, it doesn't look a great thing, let's see if this town has good protectors" *** smaps his fingers and a vixen apperes and leaves "do and schear from a strong warrior and bring him to me"


So whats wrong with this? Everything. Ok so he mentioned where it was. Thats about it. No description of the place, what it looks like and the like. No reason why he's there same case for this fox, no explanation why the hell that happened, where it came from and all that jazz. We have one opinion but no reason to back it up therefore it could be considered worthless.

Ok he 'smaped' his fingers, wow the sheer excitement that this evokes in me really can't be contained. Sarcasm.Is it night? Is it day? Maybe theres a snow storm coming in that i'm not aware of? Then the spelling is so awful that i wouldn't go near the topic with a 10ft barge pole.
An overall 1/ 14

Ok but not complete
Quote:
*** moved along the extent of the arena as if she was attacking a real opponent, not just striking and dodging the air. Her moves were strong and her steps flawless as well as constant, never missing a beat. She spun and slashed, then dodged, jumped, and attacked again, moving her swords as if they were parts of her.
She paused for a moment, breathing heavily as she slid her swords back into their sheaths and ran her hand through her blond hair.
Will he come? She wondered as she closed her eyes.


Ok, shes said that its an arena, no real detail about i though. Again we have no motive. We have one thought here. Kudos for the detail on a sentence or two even if the action is squashed into one part. No sense of time or environment here spelling and punctuation are ok.
Overall 5/14


What you should aim for.
Quote:

With a sigh the hybrid landed in the dust with a soft thlump,her lean body emerged from the settling particles revealed to be in a poised crouch. Combat boots supported the demons powerful gastrocnemius all the way up to mid calf where various bindings of metal, cloth and leather supported the antagonistic muscles working through her thigh until they met her shorts. In a flash she was sprinting across the arena once more kicking up a trail of dust clouds in her wake. Each foot pushed of the ground with speed deemed inhuman as the hybrid darted towards a large square pillar marking the boundary of the designated fighting area. Using the carvings in the stone structure for extra grip she ran the length of it before kicking off from the very tip at an angle with much force as she shot into air. As if in slow motion she arched her back at the top of the leap silhouetted against the bright sun that glinted off her sunglasses and streamed along her raven hair that fluttered lightly in the breeze until she twisted into a corkscrew whilst she fell causing it to bend with her. Celox's slender form was now in the correct direction as her boots touched down in her previous footprints, knees bending to take the impact of gravity that had accumulated in her descent as her cloak whipped around the demoness.

Slowly she straightened, pivoting on her right foot in an clockwise rotation 180 degrees so she was facing her pack and sheathes before walking over to them at a steady gait. Infront of them she began to unfasten the claw like clasps of the black material that concealed her head and torso, prior to sliding her toned arms from the cloth and dropping the garb.

Celox wasn't heavily muscled but neither was she scrawny, too much would have slowed her down but too little would have equally done the same thing without enough power to push off forcefully. The contours of her spinal column was visible as she bent down to take a bottle of water from her bag, her large ears that peeked through her long hair flickered as she exposed herself though careful to be alert for any danger. Flexing her abdominals and Latiscimus Dorsi the latter contracting put her back into an upright position, the hybrid then stretched as she unscrewed the cap before drinking from the re hydrating liquid and losing herself to her thoughts. Though plenty of planets had arenas her personal preference was this one even if the sun was ridiculously hot and a ton of suncream was needed to stop her pale complexion turning to that of a strawberry it was her favourite purely for the fact that here you were more likely to find a sparring partner. Oh and the pillars, aerial maneuvers happened to be something she used alot, many of which needed regular training to keep flexibility and agility up but alot of places neglected to have anything to kick off. Celox had nowt but neglected her training recently as jobs had been sparse even during war planets never wanted to have to admit to needing help in their battles instead they were left to fending off with what little armed forces they had and she was left in peace.

The water slipped down her throat smoothly if only to soothe her body from the heat and dehydration rather then putting it back in from exertion during training as the exercises she had been doing were hardly strenuous. The remainder of the drink shone and refracted the light that passed through when Celox tilted her head back once more and sent it cascading into her mouth before she replaced the cap upon it.
Again she bent over, her raven hair shimmering like liquid in its well conditioned state that currently dangled before her eyes from the influence of gravity evoking her to push it aside as she put the drink back on the ground all whilst wondering if anyone would be around today for her to spar with. Never the less she picked up her swords and moved towards the centre of the area to begin another exercise.


Last edited by Renzenku on Wed Jun 02, 2010 8:04 pm; edited 2 times in total

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General Posts

Post by Renzenku on Wed Jun 02, 2010 7:57 pm

General Posts

With this lot alot are repeated but not all needed. Across this little series you will see alot of the same thing simply because most hold the same aspects but how much you put in in the rest are up to you and merely list what you can add to make a post more successful.

1. Describe surroundings. By doing this it adds depth and shows the author that you have read their description and so you know what your doing. Making your surroundings detailed gives the RP a more realistic quality and your posts more purpose and respect.


So lets have an example;
Visibility was poor as snow flurried across the frosted landscape, a wall of purity barricaded one step from the next as the wanderer trudged through the white death. The going was hazardous as the white coated mountainous region concealed ledge ends, drops and holes with its ivory beauty making every step potentially the hooded figures last. Though the danger was high and the ability to see more then 2 metres ahead impossible it was nothing to what it would be when the moon awakened, the nights here were treacherous but fortunatly the traveler might just make it to shelter yet . The sunset a brilliant orange as it steadily began to sink sorrowfully behind the mountain peaks, the pine forest set ablaze by the colouration almost like a beacon of hope leading him to the cover from the bone chilling cold tearing through his very being.


We must remember to keep to the authors descriptions though not copy them the best way to do this is with a thesaurus. Lets take the words white, cold and dangerous and see what it comes up with at thesaurus.com .

Quote:
Synonyms: alarming, bad, breakneck*, chancy, critical, dangersome, deadly, delicate, dynamite, exposed, fatal, formidable, hairy*, heavy*, hot*, impending, impregnable, insecure, jeopardous, loaded, malignant, menacing, mortal, nasty, parlous, perilous, portentous, precarious, pressing, queasy, risky, serious, serpentine, shaky, speculative, terrible, thorny*, threatening, ticklish*, touch-and-go*, touchy, treacherous, ugly*, unhealthy, unsafe, unstable, urgent, viperous, vulnerable

Quote:
Synonyms: algid, arctic, below freezing, below zero, benumbed, biting, bitter, blasting, bleak, boreal, brisk, brumal, chill, chilled, cool, crisp, cutting, freezing, frigid, frore, frosty, frozen, gelid, glacial, hiemal, hyperborean, icebox, iced, icy, inclement, intense, keen, nipping, nippy, numbed, numbing, one-dog night*, penetrating, piercing, polar, raw, rimy, severe, sharp, shivery, sleety, snappy, snowy, stinging, wintry

Quote:
Synonyms: Caucasian, achromatic, achromic, alabaster, ashen, blanched, bleached, bloodless, chalky, clear, fair, frosted, ghastly, gray, hoary, immaculate, ivory, light, milky, neutral, pallid, pasty, pearly, pure, silver, silvery, snowy, spotless, stainless, transparent, unblemished, unsullied, wan, waxen


Just remember to check he words you don't know in a dictionary.

So now we know where to get a multitude of words from lets make our own version of the description.

Bob was poised, crouched, battered by the malignant glacial wind guised as innocence, of snow. Atop the treacherous ledge he overlooked the snow kissed scene simply beautiful as the tangerine light from the setting sun washed over the steady incline towards the mountain. THe cloaked figure shivered as the cold wracked his bones to the marrow, a sure sign he should get moving atleast to the cover of the evergreen forest up ahead before the night set in. The descent to the forest level would be perilous due to the limited visabilty and the icey conditions.

2. Explain why your there. This is one of the most important aspects of your intro. Theres nothing more annoying then people who are just in places for the sake of being there. So make up a reason for it even if its a tad ludicrous its better then nothing. Aslong as it makes sense you should be ok but remember to read the author intro carefully for ideas.

3. Your thoughts on the current place. Potentially you can put your description of the place here and then just your characters opinion of it but it doesn't have to be blatant either subtlety is good and as you get past the first hurdle of RP'ing you can develop your skills further i'll go into this at a later date. This isn't a hugely important part but adding it in will lengthen your post and give you something else to write about. Use the authors descriptions to be certain your having an opinion for something that exists in the scene.

4. Appearance. Describe your character this makes Rp for others easier as they then can refer to your post in order to describe you and if their good enough they'll reword your description so it's not just copy and paste. By providing others with the information to improve their own RP the topic will look better and more people will want to join.This is nearly as important as your reason simply because this will be the basis other RP'ers in the thread will use to describe you in their own posts, exaggerate things if you must but don't repeat the same words over and over. If your stuck use a thesaurus but remember make sure you don't sound like mr/mrs perfect the author will not like it if you upstage them.

5. Do something. Though speech is not necessary unless an NPC character is involved or your talking to yourself you can still run, jump or whatever. None of you seem to have a problem with this aspect merely the detail in which you describe your movements, remember thesauruses and then dictionary to check the word you've found means what you want are your best friend. Whenever i'm stuck i always find the thesaurus and search for a good fitting word. A large vocabulary shows intelligence, we like intelligence. Plus it will help your English in school.

At this stage you might observe the author or another character here if they aren't hidden observation is a good thing to put in an intro as it shows you've taken account of the other people in the thread but be careful to use only what they've described themselves with and only the actions they have executed themselves. I personally hate when people make assumptions of my character based on something i've put in thoughts but with no physical suggestion of it so do take care to read through their post and observe and react accurately.

6. Weather and time.

Again like the surrounding description this follows the same kind of thing though i included it within my description its easy to slot in anywhere just don't make the mistake of the author making it a light snow and you saying its a blizzard for example.

7. Grammer, punctuation and spelling It doesn't need to be absolutely perfect grammer wise but if you have firefox its worth using the spell check feature. Capital letters look pretty at the beginning of sentences and full stops tell us where to breathe, commas make sense of a sentence but apart from that anything else is ok.

8. Watch out for excessive action. This is when some people use chain upon chain of actions to make up for lack of detail to build line count. Its incredibly annoying and can be confusing at times for example;

Bob slowly descended the ledge, he put first his left foot down and then his right whilst gripping the sword he'd plunged into the mountain side for extra friction he repeated the left right procedure as he moved the sword down with him though careful when wrenching it out and inserting it again and moving down. He used one hand to move his long hair from his eyes as he continued down and down again moving it behind his ears again. As he was low enough he kicked off the side wrenching his sword fee once more launching into the air and leaping down into the snow narrowly avoiding a pot hole and avoiding twisting his ankle. It was then Bob saw the figure ahead when Bob's eyes traveled along the trench the person had made in way up the mountain as Bob threw all safety away he sprinted as well as he could in the deep snow towards the stranger, leaping from one foot to the other awkwardly looking like a great oaf noisily.

There is another mistake in here, can anyone spot it?


Bob, he, bob, he.
Another annoying thing that can be seen in the above example is using he excessively or the characters name. A good way to combat this habit is by using your characters traits. For example my own character is half demon so i can use a variation of Celox, she, the hybrid, the demoness, the half demon, the female, teen. By using a variety of them will improve your sentences greatly making your post more interesting.

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Tips on Extending Your Post

Post by Renzenku on Wed Jun 02, 2010 8:01 pm

Theres lots of things that have already been covered about developing your posts to a greater length without losing any of the detail that makes a good post great but heres a few more.

Prep posts
This is a post that has been partially made up before the person you are RP'ing with has posted. In a way these can be quite difficult to construct because you don't know how your opponent is going to react but these are best for situations were your not in direct contact with each other between posts as when you are it makes it quite difficult to slip them in. Never the less its not impossible. Hell one or two of my posts are completely prep ones, you see these when my opponent hasn't posted yet but theres alot of activity around. eg.
Quote:

Celox's ears flickered, another person had entered the fray whilst someone else had left by the sound of things, she also sensed their presence had been removed while another couple had been added. Her wings rose and fall to keep her alift though stiff to start with they had become more flexible and easier to move, afterall it had been a fair few years since she'd used them. Never the less the ebony haired female's porcelain skin still was as pale as ever contrasting so well with the liquid like hair so fluid in its appearance it seemed to flow, cascading like water down her back every time the light hit it and with no cloak to conceal her torso and arms many of the scars there were revealed along with the bloody extensions of her own vertebrae. Bones stripped of flesh, merely sharpened points of the spinious process of what they once were, a product of osteogenesis and the demonic blood within her that allowed such a execution to suceed let alone keep the vessel alive. Her cells whilst in this form seemed to multiply faster due to the sense of urgency the transformation brought across with its violent nature. As powerful as it was it was something not to be used often.

Whilst in this state she was more bloodthirsty then usual...if that was at all possible, with her demon side fully out it was all she could manage to do to stop herself ripping his throat out...now that would be no fun at all, he didn't deserve a quick death neither had his power deluding sibling. Bleeding to death would do nicely, she was more then capable of causing immense pain with each strike hence why she favored her swords so much, they cauterized wounds stopping an initial bleeder and giving her more then enough time to inflict more and more cauterized wounds that prevented the victim bleeding out until she executed a specific blow to finalize things. Just as blood was like a drug to her having such control over someones death was too. It sent waves of ecstasy into her with each blow, just like the blood of someone whos death had been prolonged for an extensive length, full of adrenaline to its limit it was almost orgasmic but problemaic in the way it distracted her despite the fact that nine times out of ten the victim was the last and often suffered the most. She had no soul it would seem, no heart yet she felt it beat and knew full well it was there as adrenaline also pumped through her, a natural reaction to such a situation, hunting the prey and preparing for the capture, talons raised and eyes fixated on the present and near future. Visions full of blood and corpses, that crimson liquid dripping from her chin, running freely between her canines and her skin stained with the death of those around her, the stench of demise and although her world had brought sickness upon her body it was cast aside by the adrenaline there was no sickness of the mind. Just pure lust, instinct and race traits.

The two summonings would follow xemnas, on their masters orders they were to stick by him and interfere if needed. Their hollow sockets, eyeless but all seeing would survey the scene with utmost scrutiny, any sign of negative attention towards them would be dealt with severely, both creatures were easily able to hold their own against humanoid creatures. Their mistress was capable of picking up the conversation ahead, it was laughable that this world leader thought so much of himself and if the others did not succeed she would gladly paint the inner halls with his blood, another annoying insignificant fool to be quashed and smited by her hand, her sword and her will.

Like if we take one of [her] posts as an example i'll show you which part was constructed before hand thats not an entire prep.
Quote:
Did she feel anything but lust and anger? This was a question she'd asked herself many times, she wasn't really sure anymore as memories had started coming back in brief bursts incidents at a time. Were they really memories or perhaps a figment of her imagination, constructed to give some kind of closure for the incident with her father and the name she knew not who it belonged too. In her life here these worried had much been pushed aside, business, war, conflict and development had become higher priorities. Was this her minds way of fighting back. Perhaps but it wasn't the time or place to dwell on such issues, emotions were for the weak.

Celox cursed as he entered the window, she was in no mood play idle games with little boys so instead of pursuing him inside the building she merely followed his ascent from the outside, allowing the rain to hammer down on her yielding flesh that even the cold could not bite into in her current state. The beating of her hellish wings made following him easy from the outside but chilled her body to the bone even in her form the repercussions later on with the infection spreading and anti biotics limited would be great though that did nothing to deter her as she slammed through the building's windows at a higher level, the alter of naught if she recalled correctly having only been here once before when she found her prey had seemed to have come to its destination. Finding herself reunited with the great beastial masses acting as guardians but never the less shook her wings briefly to rid herself of the excess water before folding them and approaching the others, tail flicking out of habit behind, fluid in its movements as she continued and a certain dragon skeleton leaping to her side. The creature cocked its head to oneside, confused by the humanoid's actions but nevertheless eyeing their opponents carefully despite the lack of orbital organs.


You can also try and predict your opponents actions and make up several courses of action and show these as character thoughts on possible decisions to make and the like.

By making a prep part of your post it makes use of some of the time wasted waiting for your opponent to post. If you can't find nothing more to add leave it aside and add bits now and again so by the time your opponent has posted your already well on your way to completing your post.


Good example

The huntress stood there ominous and malevolent in her demeanor, her cloak fastened only above her breast bone by the two prehistoric canines that hung there as the rest of the material flowed behind her manipulated by the light breeze. Celox's dark ears flickered every now and again, picking up the slightest, smalled, minute sound as and when it was made, these motions indicated that her senses were focussed on the enviroment even if her mind was not. This situation, though escalating was now losing her attention. More people wer arriving, not that she cared. Her hand was the one in control , the chord between life and death. A centimetre or two further and he was as good as dead. Never the less the demonic female pressed tge blade horizontal just below Tricksters Adam's apple, deeper into his yielding flesh encouraging more blood to rush to the surface until the metal tore through the connective tissue and rested against his carotid artery which pulsed beneath. Bending closer till her chest pressed aginst what was exposed of his armor plated back she hissed in his ear.

" Rain ey? Now that would be desirable if i didn't consider her to be so pathetically weak that i would have to be mad to even consider getting anyones help anyway whether or not it concerned her. No point wasting my time and Deaths with torture as enjoyable as the act itself may be. So try once again to keep your pitiful life."

Celox grinned inwardly and externally, though boring it was slightly amusing how they fought to outbid each other. Much like an item at auction minus the fact the losers life was on the line. The demoness was never really one tp hear people out as they begged for mercy but in this case it was different. money, items of interest were at stake. Anything offered to her that might evoke any interest tended to be rare in frequency as she had all she needed but she was always up for more if it was of a high standard. This was the reason why she had not merely decapitated the so called samurai.

Sensitive ears were slightly overwhelmed with the occurence of the explosion, a slim twinge of pain registered with her brain as the loud noise penetrated them. Through the explosion shifted tp whitish creatures no longer waiting for the hybrid's word to moe the bone monsters came into view merely spectating for now the colossal Blondi and the skeletal Osteo Everto emerged from the dust.

Through the gap in her writhing cloak a bullet belt was visible reflecting the moonlight as it rested slightly angled on her slender hip. It appeared to be merely aesthetic but looks could most definably be decieving especially in this case where the belt was full of live rounds. Celox spied the crossbow wielder out of the corner of her eyes.With a sigh of exhasperation she pulled Lumen from his sheath into the air, within the time he rose and fell like slow motion the hybrid ejected the magazine, produced another from her cloak. 14 rounds in total but before the gunblade leveled with her hip the demoness had plucked a single round from her belt and inserted it into the new mag. Specialized magazines for sepecialized guns. Customs were always the best. Before he's be able to register the movement Lumen would now be trained on the figure with her left hand whilst her right held the dagger into Tricksters throat. This was a precautionary measure, now that the numbers were evening up they might pose as something worth putting some effort into but she doubted it. Deflection would be easy be killing was more enjoyable.

It was then a laugh pierced the tense air, sadistic and dripping with a mocking tone as the demon picked up what the idiot had said.

" You? Kill him? With me being owed money? Delusional much? Insane? Blind? Plain stupid? Is the course of human evolution retarded? What in the world gave you the idea that you, a pathetic being amounting to fuck all could even scratch him with your little oversized slingshot? That must have been some height they dropped you on your head from as a kid but the most funniest thing i've heard all week. Seeing as i could just simply blow your bolt out of the air with one shot if i decided to spare your life a few moments more just to let you watch yourself fail."

Again the half demon laughed. Genuinly she found that he even considered the idea amusing. Perhaps today things would turn out to be worth her time after all. Worms. They truly were getting stupider. They needed to be castrated and eradicated to filter the gene pool. Even if he could accuratly aim for Xeremij from that height, the employer himself wasn't paralysed or truly retarded as the one that dared stand between her money would surely move.

THe hollow points now loaded into her firearm were extremly dangerous amd painful, one hit and the damage to the tissue and it would cause malignant damage. Much more the a normal round. Where you could remove a normal bullet most of the time her 'exploding' bullets left nothing more then fragments after expanding on contact it increased the amount of damage and extensive bleeding a hell of a lot with no round to plug the hole and a larger lack of flesh to bleed out of.Predicting movement she could move her aim in mid second to the point were a target would be when the bullet was due to impact. Prior to seeing the speed of the crossbow bolts fired earlier she could now efficiently shoot them out of the air.

Although the raven haired female held very little brute force within her body the hybrid was meticulously accurate with Lumen and Atrum accompanied with easily sufficient speed to bring the probability of her missing an individual next to nothing. The best factor was that although the bullets she had entered 'exploded' there was nothing magical about them whatsoever meaning the restriction she'd set with the containment cube didn't apply. It was as if there was no magic at all in the radius. No where to run, hide as magic was now non existant here with two great bestial summons to stop anything getting past.

So it was that stood there. Long dark hair shimmering in the moonlight like water, blowing lightly in the wind with her cloak eyes hidden by the shades that masked them and strong thighs planting her feet securly to the floor, holding her position as she aimed Lumen at the lackey of Tricksters, knife held into the war mongerer himself's neck and head turned towards Neo with a sadistic grin splitting her facial features as she said for all to hear.

" My, my, my so many of my little targets in one place. Your 17 days early for my birthday but the thought was nice. Children? So i see the only thing that would mate with you was someone who was missing any intellect and a drunk alcoholic? That explains the sense of AFD i get from your so called children Neo. Now be a good father and take your spaztic little kids away before i start blowing off their limbs though i'll take this one in payment for your brother and yourselfs pain in the ass behaviour."

Quick as a flash her own trigger was compressed releasing a bullet much swifter then the crossbow bolt in time for it to collide with the artillary shattering it into fragments.

So lets take a quick reminder of content that fills up a post nicely:

Surroundings: Plenty of opportunity for detail here.

Reason for being in there: Shows other your not just popping in here and there for post count and if you are well it's less obvious.

Thoughts: Gives an insight to your character.

Action: Adds interest to the scene and something for the next person to go on.

Weather and Time: More opportunity for detail.

Just remember when your starting to topic all of the above are essential.

Recap over.

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Renzenku
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Re: Crash Course In RP (Made By Celox)

Post by Renzenku on Wed Jun 02, 2010 8:02 pm

All Rights And Reserves To Kingdomhearts.forumotion.net And Celox for her writing of this little Crash Course. ^^

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